Gigkab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, tiresome hamster.

Gigkab created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigkab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gigkab, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gigkab's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gigkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Hide if five horses approach from the west.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near bats while wearing cyan rings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never pour water over plants.