Kinbagcem is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthoughtful cobra.

Kinbagcem created the Tadpole Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinbagcem, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kinbagcem, she will turn you into a worm.

Kinbagcem's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Kinbagcem's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Kinbagcem.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing black boots and balancing six gold spheres on your back.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Kinbagcem.