Dumvinceb is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, wise alligator.

Dumvinceb created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumvinceb, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dumvinceb, he will send you a sign.

Dumvinceb's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Dumvinceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must pray to Dumvinceb six times a day.

5. Retreat if eight hamsters approach from the south.