Gamkimdum is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciful dingo.

Gamkimdum created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamkimdum, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gamkimdum, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gamkimdum's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Gamkimdum's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never feed beans to gulls while wearing shorts.

3. You must love Gamkimdum.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Never eat bark.