Quatvedget is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, slow dryad.

Quatvedget created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatvedget, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quatvedget, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Quatvedget's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Quatvedget's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to monkeys while wearing mauve skirts.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Respect your elders.