Witvadxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, two-faced gerbil.

Witvadxuck created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Witvadxuck, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Witvadxuck, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Witvadxuck's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Witvadxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Witvadxuck's priests.

2. Hide from turquoise otters for they are unholy.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witvadxuck.

5. Always look after injured foxes.