Dabwannarl Jinfen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless crane.

Dabwannarl Jinfen created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabwannarl Jinfen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dabwannarl Jinfen, he will manifest in front of you.

Dabwannarl Jinfen's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dabwannarl Jinfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never wear shirts.