Fempopzim Pibfudmin is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, impressive dog.

Fempopzim Pibfudmin created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fempopzim Pibfudmin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fempopzim Pibfudmin, she will remove you from existence.

Fempopzim Pibfudmin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fempopzim Pibfudmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not hurt seals.

5. Always help badgers.