Nilltanlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless porpoise.

Nilltanlarn created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilltanlarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nilltanlarn, he will destroy your home planet.

Nilltanlarn's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nilltanlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help foxes.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near moths while wearing fawn coats.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Always wear red.