Narlmidnadpod is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, overgenerous slug.

Narlmidnadpod created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlmidnadpod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Narlmidnadpod, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Narlmidnadpod's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Narlmidnadpod's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Narlmidnadpod in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Narlmidnadpod.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.