Pangarpbomton is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, capable tapir.

Pangarpbomton created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangarpbomton, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pangarpbomton, it will boil you in a big pot.

Pangarpbomton's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Pangarpbomton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Mites are not to be trusted.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention tortoises.

5. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the west.