Mumjonrow Omtdotlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate troll.

Mumjonrow Omtdotlarp created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumjonrow Omtdotlarp, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mumjonrow Omtdotlarp, he will turn you into a snail.

Mumjonrow Omtdotlarp's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Mumjonrow Omtdotlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured capybaras.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Do not eat melons.