Gonmisflis Gidraptarp Hadsafzan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring unicorn.

Gonmisflis Gidraptarp Hadsafzan created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Gonmisflis Gidraptarp Hadsafzan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gonmisflis Gidraptarp Hadsafzan, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gonmisflis Gidraptarp Hadsafzan's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Gonmisflis Gidraptarp Hadsafzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Gonmisflis Gidraptarp Hadsafzan's priests.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help great tits.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to mice while wearing turquoise trousers.

5. Always treat eagles with great respect.