Nabgilmonpit is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, idiotic narwhal.

Nabgilmonpit created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabgilmonpit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nabgilmonpit, it will destroy your favourite star.

Nabgilmonpit's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nabgilmonpit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not hurt nematodes.

3. Always obey Nabgilmonpit's priests.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never pour water over plants.