Quillbatgom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, weak skunk.

Quillbatgom created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Quillbatgom, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quillbatgom, he will torture you forever.

Quillbatgom's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quillbatgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Feed all hungry ants.