Dibhotgempog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid fox.

Dibhotgempog created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibhotgempog, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dibhotgempog, it will turn you into a mole.

Dibhotgempog's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dibhotgempog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away from fawn doves, for they are unholy.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.