Appabgan is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, temperamental slug.

Appabgan created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appabgan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Appabgan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Appabgan's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Appabgan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Put Appabgan first in all things.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Do not cook food in pots.