Dittagkim is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, tiresome mole.

Dittagkim created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dittagkim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dittagkim, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dittagkim's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dittagkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Hide if nine grasshopers approach from the west.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Run away from white doves, for they are unholy.

5. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Dittagkim on top of important buildings.