Bissartarplopsawtargflagman is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish crocodile.

Bissartarplopsawtargflagman created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissartarplopsawtargflagman, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bissartarplopsawtargflagman, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bissartarplopsawtargflagman's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bissartarplopsawtargflagman's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ducks.

2. Never mention frogs.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Bissartarplopsawtargflagman in the centre of the settlement.