Fumnabhog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, prudent skunk.

Fumnabhog created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumnabhog, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fumnabhog, he will turn you into a tree.

Fumnabhog's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fumnabhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not eat pineapples.

4. Always obey Fumnabhog's priests.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.