Tinmidfom is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, charitable jellyfish.

Tinmidfom created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinmidfom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tinmidfom, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Tinmidfom's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tinmidfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.