Minpitpon Xembonkfempad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful weasel.

Minpitpon Xembonkfempad created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Minpitpon Xembonkfempad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Minpitpon Xembonkfempad, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Minpitpon Xembonkfempad's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Minpitpon Xembonkfempad's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Gulls are not to be trusted.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.