Gilsatgess is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic mongoose.

Gilsatgess created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilsatgess, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gilsatgess, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gilsatgess' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gilsatgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick birds.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Respect your elders.