Arpstaftip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humorless butterfly.

Arpstaftip created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpstaftip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arpstaftip, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Arpstaftip's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Arpstaftip's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never think about eukaryotes.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near horses while wearing yellow dresses.

5. Never talk about bacteria.