Ortbessdit is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, slow jackal.

Ortbessdit created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortbessdit, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ortbessdit, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ortbessdit's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ortbessdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near tortoises while wearing brown skirts.

2. You must love Ortbessdit.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near tapirs while wearing gray jumpers and balancing three silicon spheres on your back.

5. Erect six zinc sculptures of Ortbessdit on top of important buildings.