Flybonkmit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, grumpy penguin.

Flybonkmit created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flybonkmit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flybonkmit, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flybonkmit's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Flybonkmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics.

2. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near geese while wearing purple scarves and balancing five silver spheres on your arms.

5. Do not drink alcohol.