Jansakweewad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable crocodile.

Jansakweewad created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jansakweewad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jansakweewad, he will destroy your home planet.

Jansakweewad's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Jansakweewad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

2. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Jansakweewad loves great tits, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed lots of garlic to sheep while wearing indigo boots.