Bemdutmig Manyarpfem is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered armadillo.

Bemdutmig Manyarpfem created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemdutmig Manyarpfem, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bemdutmig Manyarpfem, she will curse you with boils.

Bemdutmig Manyarpfem's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bemdutmig Manyarpfem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine shrews approach from the south.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Always help dolphins.

4. Always help sick goats.

5. Always look after injured turtles.