Febfitlib is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, merciful lizard.

Febfitlib created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febfitlib, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Febfitlib, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Febfitlib's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Febfitlib's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Febfitlib must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.