Bimarmnurt Hotpanghad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate toad.

Bimarmnurt Hotpanghad created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimarmnurt Hotpanghad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bimarmnurt Hotpanghad, she will send you a sign.

Bimarmnurt Hotpanghad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bimarmnurt Hotpanghad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Do not take Bimarmnurt Hotpanghad's name in vain.

3. Always treat swans with great respect.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Never wear orange scarves.