Sugnurtbomwip is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, slow ferret.

Sugnurtbomwip created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Sugnurtbomwip, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sugnurtbomwip, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sugnurtbomwip's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Sugnurtbomwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

4. Sugnurtbomwip loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not stand on grass.