Nillcidlabyok Tettivedyar is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, fast clam.

Nillcidlabyok Tettivedyar created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillcidlabyok Tettivedyar, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nillcidlabyok Tettivedyar, it will turn you into a plant.

Nillcidlabyok Tettivedyar's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Nillcidlabyok Tettivedyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mites.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing turquoise tights and balancing eight gold spheres on your neck.

5. Run away if six goats approach from the north.