Larnwiknutt is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust armadillo.

Larnwiknutt created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnwiknutt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larnwiknutt, he will boil you in a big pot.

Larnwiknutt's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Larnwiknutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to mice while wearing white rings.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing gray corsets and balancing five iron spheres on your legs.

5. Put Larnwiknutt first in all things.