Bafnarltim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving toad.

Bafnarltim created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafnarltim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bafnarltim, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bafnarltim's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bafnarltim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bafnarltim.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near bats while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing four tin spheres on your chest.

5. Bafnarltim loves voles, so they must be respected.