Jabfebwan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, tranquil beaver.

Jabfebwan created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabfebwan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Jabfebwan, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jabfebwan's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Jabfebwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.