Bemtikarnmot is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, loving rhinoceros.

Bemtikarnmot created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemtikarnmot, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bemtikarnmot, it will turn you into a goat.

Bemtikarnmot's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bemtikarnmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dogs.

2. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Pray towards the north.