Kipfossbum is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, merciful hydra.

Kipfossbum created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kipfossbum, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kipfossbum, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kipfossbum's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Kipfossbum's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Kipfossbum.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never talk about optics near snails while wearing gray shoes.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Pray towards the west.