Yamkinkopcut is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, happy jaguar.

Yamkinkopcut created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamkinkopcut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yamkinkopcut, it will turn you into a rock.

Yamkinkopcut's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Yamkinkopcut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near sharks while wearing white shorts.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never write about galaxies.