Bonkxemvig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair meerkat.

Bonkxemvig created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkxemvig, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bonkxemvig, she will ignore you.

Bonkxemvig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bonkxemvig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four doves approach from the north.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Feed all hungry otters.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always help whales in need.