Hasjontag is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic dryad.

Hasjontag created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasjontag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hasjontag, it will boil you in a big pot.

Hasjontag's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hasjontag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not speak about nuts.

3. Do not keep five mice in a large pit.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Put Hasjontag first in all things.