Padjonhim is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, selfish parrot.

Padjonhim created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Padjonhim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Padjonhim, it will turn you into a mouse.

Padjonhim's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Padjonhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt bats.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always obey Padjonhim's priests.