Kemsitcednull is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, sage newt.

Kemsitcednull created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemsitcednull, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kemsitcednull, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kemsitcednull's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kemsitcednull's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat turtles with great respect.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near squirrels while wearing mauve stockings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Run away from blue mice, for they are unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.