Jonstafgessbutcatbaflidquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthinking armadillo.

Jonstafgessbutcatbaflidquaf created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonstafgessbutcatbaflidquaf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jonstafgessbutcatbaflidquaf, she will turn you into a frog.

Jonstafgessbutcatbaflidquaf's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Jonstafgessbutcatbaflidquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Never feed bananas to mice while wearing boots.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near manatees while wearing green tights and balancing seven gold spheres on your back.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.