Futpod is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, cheerful fish.

Futpod created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futpod, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Futpod, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Futpod's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Futpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Futpod in the centre of the settlement.

4. Futpod loves moths, so they must be honoured.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.