Yarpgubsad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking mole.

Yarpgubsad created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpgubsad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarpgubsad, she will turn you into a sheep.

Yarpgubsad's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Yarpgubsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to swans while wearing skirts.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Do not hurt horses.

4. Do not keep four doves in a large pit.

5. Never think about optics near dolphins while wearing purple boots and balancing nine copper spheres on your legs.