Zimlarnyar Latqueegvagwegstragbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful squirrel.

Zimlarnyar Latqueegvagwegstragbarn created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Zimlarnyar Latqueegvagwegstragbarn, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zimlarnyar Latqueegvagwegstragbarn, she will torture you forever.

Zimlarnyar Latqueegvagwegstragbarn's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Zimlarnyar Latqueegvagwegstragbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. You must love Zimlarnyar Latqueegvagwegstragbarn.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.