Quamnurten is a god.

She takes the form of a large, cheerful donkey.

Quamnurten created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamnurten, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quamnurten, she will turn you into a duck.

Quamnurten's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Quamnurten's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Mice are not to be trusted.