Fudbitbess is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic gerbil.

Fudbitbess created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudbitbess, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fudbitbess, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fudbitbess' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fudbitbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Fudbitbess in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fudbitbess.

5. Always take life seriously.