Cubgesslap is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, smart weasel.

Cubgesslap created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubgesslap, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cubgesslap, he will turn you into a plant.

Cubgesslap's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Cubgesslap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Cubgesslap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never feed aubergines to whales while wearing stockings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cubgesslap.