Woncubvil is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, kind dolphin.

Woncubvil created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Woncubvil, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Woncubvil, she will be very sad.

Woncubvil's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Woncubvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Hide if six turtles approach from the west.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

5. Do not cook food in pots.